Here comes the bride: Japanese weddings, Shinto style

Japan, as in many countries, has its own unique and traditional way of celebrating weddings — the Shinto way. Despite the growing popularity of Western-style weddings, many couples still opt to get married in a Shinto ceremony, wishing to have the same beautiful wedding that their parents and grandparents had. Nowadays, Shinto weddings are infused with Western practices like exchanging vows and rings and cutting cake, and it is in such weddings that the elaborate old-age traditions mix with modern-age romance.

Many Japanese marriages have resulted from mi-ai, and it is for this reason that mi-ai is still widely practiced today. Mi-ai is an interview between a man and a woman, with a view to marriage. It is arranged by a nakoudo or a go-between. It is not compulsory for the two sides to wed; mi-ai simply provides an opportunity for a man and a woman to get to know each other well enough so they can make an informed decision regarding future family life.

If and when the two sides decide to go ahead with the relationship after some time of getting to know each other, the nakoudo arranges for the engagement to take place formally with a ceremony called yui-no. The families of both sides meet to dine and wine together (wine, meaning sake, of course) as a sign that the two families will soon be united.

The highlight of the yui-no ceremony is the exchanging of the gifts, all wrapped beautifully in exquisite rice paper or washi. The main gift for the bride-to-be is an obi (kimono sash) which symbolizes female virtue, and for the groom-to-be, a hakama which represents fidelity. Other gifts are also exchanged like konbu (kelp) and surume (dried cuttlefish) to signify a lasting marriage, a suehiro fan for happiness and shiraga (hemp) to signify long life and strong familial bonds.

Spring and fall are favorite times for Shinto weddings, and during auspicious dates, there are as many as 40 couples getting married in one Shinto shrine alone.

The bride wears an exquisite kimono called shiro-maku, made of snowy white silk. Her hair is swept up in a traditional style and held with beautiful combs and ornaments called kanzashi. Her face is painted a creamy white. Lastly, she wears on her head a white hood called tsuno-kakushi, which literally means “hiding the horns”. This hood symbolizes her faithfulness and obedience to her husband. The groom wears a montsuki kimono with a short haori overcoat with the family crest and hakama pants.

A Shinto wedding ceremony is presided by a Shinto priest in the sanctuary of the shrine. It is witnessed only by family members, close relatives and the nakoudo. The ceremony starts with a purification ritual for all present, using a special branch called narai-gushi. After this, he invokes on the gods to bestow their blessings on the couple.

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